This is an article in Hovi Care’s series of 10 articles with the topic: 10 Wishes for Caregiver.
The keys to success when working with a person with memory disorders are both very easy but challenging. Everything starts with the person’s situation and his/her abilities.
In this series of articles, we’ll help you make the day successful with the person with dementia. (PwD) You will need a bag of tips and tricks to tackle multitude of situations. The tools and methods include:
- standing side-by-side
- reminiscing together
- continually searching for ways to enhance a person’s feeling of safety
- supporting a person’s self-image
- creating moments that enforce feelings of participation and a person’s sense of accomplishment
Let’s get started with Building Trust
Collaboration starts with a common understanding amongst all parties concerned. You should not argue but instead, try to find a way out of the situation without a conflict. For example, don’t get into a disagreement whether or not the person’s mother has passed away. Instead, go around the argument so that the person with memory disorders can retain his/her own beliefs.
So you can go along with the person’s views, but you should not lie. The collaboration will be the most fruitful way around. If you end up in a heated argument, the chance is that the situation will not end well. So you should conform with the person’s views (walking side-by-side) instead of trying to guide the client towards your views.
Case example: The person with memory disorders wants to go out for some reason. It will not help if you start arguing why you cannot go out now. Instead, you have to find a way to redirect the need to something else if going out now is not an option.
So you must come to a joint agreement where both parties have the same understanding of the outcome. It is all about finding a state of collaboration where both are working together, aligned with his/her current mood and state. Your task is to guide the actions so that the feeling of safety for the person with memory disorders is maintained instead of arguing with facts (e.g. if one’s mother has passed away or not). Disagreement will not make the situation better.
The person’s mood will provide a guideline for you. For example, you can realign the focus on his/her mother and the feelings that the memories of his/her mother have created.
So you can ask instead: “I have not met your mother earlier, can you please tell me about her?”
Collaborating means that both of you discuss on the same thing
Basically, you will need to be on the same side with the person. In this collaboration, you will need to take steps to understand the person’s views and change your actions accordingly. The person with memory disorder cannot adjust his/her actions in this situation. It is your responsibility to understand the state the person is in and what is currently the opinion one should agree with.
However, the goal may not necessarily be in total agreement with him/her. The point is that you should not start arguing if you disagree because it will not help. So you do not need to work towards having the same opinion of the situation. Instead, you should work towards being in agreement about what the action should be. If both of you are collaborating in the situation, the situation feels safe for the person with memory disorders. Like they commonly say, “If there is a will, there is a way”.
Also, have a look at Hovi Care’s other articles on the series: 10 Wishes for Caregiver
Have a look at our other articles on how to take care of a person with dementia here.
If you need support services for your loved one, please contact us to hear more. We operate in Bali and Singapore. Read more about Hovi Care here.
