This is an article in Hovi Care’s series of 10 articles with the topic: 10 Wishes for Caregiver.
The keys to success when working with a person with memory disorders are both very easy but challenging. Everything starts with the person’s situation and his/her abilities.
In this series of articles, we’ll help you make the day successful with the person with dementia. (PwD) You will need a bag of tips and tricks to tackle multitude of situations. The tools and methods include:
- standing side-by-side
- reminiscing together
- continually searching for ways to enhance a person’s feeling of safety
- supporting a person’s self-image
- creating moments that enforce feelings of participation and a person’s sense of accomplishment
Let’s Get Started with How to Guide Someone with a Memory Disorder
A person with memory disorders often has problems with controlling their actions, and they keep forgetting things. You should not embarrass him/her by saying: “I have told you many times already” or “can’t you remember”. It will make him/her confused and ashamed or create a feeling that he/she is stupid because he/she cannot remember. Instead, when you notice that the person does not remember, you can lead the discussion or situation in a way that the person has a chance to realize what situation he/she is in.
Your work is about guiding the person and situation in a way that makes the person with memory disorders capable of following and acting on the situation. Otherwise, the message you send to the person is that he/she is incapable of functioning and he/she loses self-confidence and self-esteem.
Case example: if we compare the memory disorder to another type of disability, where a person has a leg prosthesis, and he wants to run, we will not compare his running with people with no prosthesis and say that: “you are running a lot slower than the person without prosthesis”. Instead, you would compare the person with a prosthesis with other people with similar prosthesis and say, for example, “you are running very well compared to other people with prosthesis.” So you should consider the person’s abilities based on his/her capabilities and encourage him/her accordingly. This way, the person will have a feeling of accomplishment. Continuously saying that he/she cannot carry a particular task is discouraging.
Help Them Maintain Their Dignity
If the person cannot remember that he/she has asked the question, they will probably not remember the answer either. Guide me – will help you out of the situation with a positive mindset. Give direction, help, provide hints and tips with which the person could remember.
You can make the discussion safe by “demoting” yourself in the situation. So if you say that you cannot remember (even if you do), you will give an opportunity for the person with memory disorders to tell you about it. When you give hints on how it could be, and the person remembers, you could say: “good that you remembered, I had forgotten about it”. This way, the person feels that he/she is needed in the discussion and can provide valuable information. Use hints to help the person recollect what the correct answer could be.
Case example: the person with memory disorders is trying to leave home to pick up the children from school, and you want to stop him/her from doing that.
You know from his/her life history that his/her sister has helped to pick up the children from school once per week. You can ask: “which day was it when your sister was picking up the children? It is Tuesday today, and she will pick them up so that you do not need to worry about it.” So you are leading the client to realize that she does not need to pick them up today. Both of you will have a feeling that you got information and the situation is resolved.
Also, have a look at Hovi Care’s other articles on the series: 10 Wishes for Caregiver
Have a look at our other articles on how to take care of a person with dementia here.
If you need support services for your loved one, please contact us to hear more. We operate in Bali and Singapore. Read more about Hovi Care here.
